What advice would ‘seasoned’ mothers give to the mothers of little ones?

As a parent we have so many hopes and dreams for building our family, but life happens. You get busy and some of the intentions you had, never happen, or perhaps you have never considered some of the ‘bigger picture’ things. So I asked some ‘seasoned’ mothers, whose children have grown. What would you say to mothers who are still raising their children?

Before reading the below comments, please remember:
Connected Children values the breadth of wisdom that parents hold, as such, this article reflects my interest in the words and perceptions of parents. While the philosophy of Connected Children is to value the subjective opinion of parents, the following comments are not to be viewed as advice or opinions held by Connected Children.

Another philosophy of Connected Children is to remember that we are not universal in our opinions regarding the care of children and hence we will not all agree on our values and beliefs raising our families. Hopefully in viewing this blog and hearing opinions from other parents, it can help us to shape our own philosophies and values as parents.

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Set boundaries and be consistent.

Listen to them and let them feel heard.

Read with them early as it gives you time with your child and shows them how to acquire a love for learning.

Spending time with your child in the early years is critical to develop good relationships and communication.

– Mother to four adult children –

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Help them to establish a set of morals in a corrupt environment, do not be shocked when they say shocking things when they are young. Teenagers will produce surprises, let your children build confidence in their communication with you. This will help prepare you for when they are teenagers there is a good foundation for open communication. Again, don’t be surprised when they tell them shocking things just as they did when they were young.

Rather than fobbing them off, when you place your boundaries, explain why. Kids often don’t react to having boundaries but they need to why they are in place. This helps them to understand the values of the family.

Trust your instincts and seek out support from other mothers.
If your child is gifted, it is not the be all and end all, let the kids have their own life. Don’t take credit for it and push them. Let them be kids and have their own peers at their age.

Don’t be too fussed if your house is untidy, it is more important to do what you need to do with your children.

Always let them know you love them.

– Mother of 3 with children in their 30’s –

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Love your children – Cuddle and tell your children you love them often.
Love your partner – display respectful and caring love to each other so that they know what a good relationship looks like. They will then show that respect and care back to you.

Don’t be afraid to say “no”. Children especially boys need boundaries. They’ll meet boundaries later in life so may as well be used to it earlier.
Put them to bed on time. Enough sleep and regular hours of sleep are essential in all sorts of ways. When they go to school they’ll need to be getting up at a certain time and need to wake naturally and be used to those hours.

Eat together – sitting at the table together teaches them good eating manners and encourages conversation as a family. Children and adults should eat the same meals.

Read to children early. It’s nice time with the children. Good readers are good learners.

Spend time WITH them not BESIDE them. Interact, play and talk to your children. You’ll be amazed what they come out with. Establishing good communication when they are young really makes for improved communication through the teenage years and boy is that important
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Your work is their play (and also an essential learning ground for life skills so that they can become independent adults later. Include them in house work, cooking and shopping. A friend of mine had a “crazy hat box that only came out when she ironed so the kids loved her ironing and entertained themselves next to her with the hat box. My children were allowed to choose any fruit they wanted if they behaved well when doing the supermarket shopping.

Make sure they use pencils, read paper books and play non computer games as these things develop fine motor skills which aren’t gained using ipads.

Hang onto your hat and ride the roller coaster. Nobody has a dream ride as a parent. It’s hard work but SO worth the effort.

– Mother of three 19yrs to 25 yrs –

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Dance often with your baby, it is good for their vestibular system which helps to develop their motor skills, plus it helps to settle your baby. Not only does it make lovely memories it also supports their physical and emotional development.

– Mother of three children in their early 20’s –

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Always keep your husband first in your heart, even though your children will need you more day to day, remember, he will be the one left when they all leave.

– Mother of 4 children in their 20’s –

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Don’t buy a mobile phone for your child. It opens up too much risk from external influences.

– Mother of 3 children in their 30’s –

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This one is my favourite….
No matter what happens, always hold firmly in your heart a strong belief that your child will grow to become a kind, empathic and worthy person who will contribute in their own special way to our world.